Hidden Cost of happiness

1. You Must Accept Imperfection and Flaws

Life has a checklist. You check each item off, you get to be happy and old for a couple decades, then you die.

But life doesn’t work that way. Problems don’t go away — they change and evolve. Today’s perfection becomes tomorrow’s swampy cesspool of shit, and the quicker we accept that the point of life is progress and not perfection, the sooner we can progress little faster.

Happiness: a man with hand over face

Perfection is an idealization. It’s something that is approached but never reached. Whatever your conception of “perfect” is in your pretty little head, it is, in itself, an imperfect conception.

There is no perfect. There is only what you wish in your head.

When we let go of our conception of what is perfect and what “should” be, we relieve ourselves of the stress and frustration of living up to some arbitrary standard. And usually, this standard isn’t even ours! It’s a standard we adopted from other people.

Accepting imperfection is hard because it forces us to accept that we have to live with things we don’t like. We don’t want to give that up.

But life will never conform to all of our desires. Ever. And we will always be wrong about something, in some way. Ironically, it’s the acceptance of this that allows us to be happy with it.

2. You Must Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important.

Some are afraid giving up the relationship, fear of failure, fair to climb. If we identify with our moment-to-moment emotional states and sensitivities, our happiness will surge and crash.

4. You Must Find a Deeper Purpose to Your Actions

 You must choose what is motivating you.

Being motivated by money for the sake of money leads to unstable emotional regulation and a lot of obnoxious and superficial behavior.

Being motivated by the approval of others leads to needy behavior. You’ll be able to work through disapproval and embarrassments.

How does one find their deeper purpose? Well, it’s not easy. It has something to do with growth and contribution. Growth means finding a way to make yourself a better person. Contribution means finding a way to make other people better. Look for ways that you can integrate those into your motivations.

5. You Must Be Willing to Fail and Be Embarrassed

You cannot be a powerful life-changing presence to some people without being a complete joke and embarrassment to others.

young man sad silhouette in studio isolated on white background

Some people will not like you. They will leave nasty anonymous comments on the internet. Anything you do that’s important will inevitably be accompanied by those who wish for you to fail. Not because they’re bad people, but because their values differ from yours.

 “Haters gonna hate.”

In simple words, failure is required to make progress. And progress, is what drives happiness .

Relish the pain. Bathe in the scorn. The most important skill in life is not how to avoid getting knocked down, but rather learning how to stand back up. Haters gonna hate. This was a line from a book which i didn’t remember but i wrote it in my diary.

In short,

Happiness is when you DON’T GIVE A F*CK. 😛

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